Thursday, July 16, 2015

Note to Old Me

Dear Old Me...
Me that was 25.  Just diagnosed with Endometriosis.  Me who had to go through hell just to get a doctor to take her seriously. Who went through 6 months of pure pain/hell/tough times at work just to get a diagnosis.  Who had two surgeries the following year, and countless medicated therapies to get where you are today.  Who met one of your best friends along the way.

Today, 33 year old me, you are pregnant.  After 8 years of hell.  Weight gain, weight loss, crazy medications.  Yes, you should be rejoicing.  You look at the pregnancy test.  Not the first one, but the first, and the second- and just cry.  Cry because you can't believe it is real.  Cry because it is real.  Cry because after all the pain, suffering, breakups because the old boyfriends couldn't deal with the pain from your treatments.  Cry because you have an amazing husband who is by your side every day.  Cry with joy when your husband gets home from work, so you can tell him the good news. Cry when you hear the baby's first heartbeat.

Old me...please be considerate to those who have similar issues.  Have compassion.  Have love.  Do not shoulder away from your pregnant friends.  Yes, you are 25 and single, but they still need you. Whether it is to go out to lunch, or maybe help one day with something at the house.   All of the things I know now, I wish I knew back when I was the old me.  I guess that is why they always say "older and wiser".

Today me, continue to love.  Continue to understand.  Continue to grow.  Continue to learn.

Keep learning how to be a good wife, sister, friend, and now, mother.  Keep forging healthy relationships.  Keep learning from the past.  Never let other people's expectations let you down.  You are your own person, and you need to do what is best for you, and your family.

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